Love Your Husbands

Ahhh, love.  The butterflies, loving gazes, and heartache when you have to spend a moment apart. Is this what God asks wives to "feel" for their husbands?  Would you be disappointed if I said "no"?  The Greek word translated "love" in Titus 2:4 is phileo.  Strongs defines phileo as "to manifest some act or token of kindness or affection; to kiss; to love, regard with affection, have affection for; to like, be fond of."  This kind of love is used most often to refer to the affection or love between friends or family.  For example, Martha and Mary referred to Lazarus as the disciple whom Jesus loved (John 3:11). When Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him, Peter replied, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love [phileo] you" every time (John 21:16). Phileo is also used in Matthew 10:37 to refer to the love for father or mother, son or daughter.

So, how does a wife love (phileo) her husband?  She is his friend.  After God created man and all the animals, He recognized the man's need for companionship.  His solution to man's loneliness was woman.  While books, articles, and surveys present a myriad of needs husbands have, a few are common to all lists.  Companionship is one of them. Find out what interests your husband, and share in his interests.  You will still maintain your interests and friends, but take time to join your husband in some of his favorite activities.

A wife loves her husband when she shows affection.  Wrapping your arm through his or holding his hand while you walk, a hug when he leaves for work and comes home, a kiss before bed are all ways to show affection.  Sexual affection is also high on his needs' list.  Be careful about turning down his advances.  

Kindness is not only a fruit of the spirit, it is an act of love.  Common courtesies, politeness, respect are ways a wife shows kindness to her husband.  Avoid embarrassing him by watching your tongue in public and by being careful what information or photos you share in the social media.  Eliminate selfishness, nagging, and pushing your husband into situations he isn't ready for or doesn't want.  Be content with what your husband is able to provide for you and your family and show appreciation for his hard work.

Love your husband by being his friend, showing affection and kindness, and don't be afraid to ask him what his specific needs are.

Questions to ask yourself:

Do I love my husband like God wants me to?
Am I the kind of friend I would like to have?
Am I affectionate?
Do I show respect for my husband by accepting his decisions?
Am I careful not to embarrass him in public and in social media outlets?
Do I thank him for providing for me?
Do I nag him for more?  Or am I content?